Ache
by The Blah of Awesome
Summary: He woke up screaming, the fire-and-ash-coated face of Lépine still dancing before his eyes. Relating to the 6th of December.


Ache

Summary: He woke up screaming, the fire-and-ash-coated face of Lépine still dancing before his eyes. Relating to the 6th of December.

Warning: École Polytechnique Massacre and Halifax Explosion.

* * *

"_Vous n'êtes toutes qu'un tas de f__é__ministes."_

_He watched, stricken with dread as the distance between the two ships drew closer and closer._

"_JE HAIS LES F__É__MINISTES!"_

_Everything killed him, the noise, the ash, flying debris were blasted everywhere, as the city exploded._

---

"_Aaaahhhhh!"_

He awoke screaming, thrashing around in pain and fear.

"Matthieu, c'est moi, réveilles-toi!"

"Oh, bloody hell, somebody get him to fucking calm down!"

"Matt! Wake up!"

He couldn't hear. "No! Make him go away! Don't let him hurt me, _make them stop_!"

Cold water was splashed on his face, bringing him back to the real world screaming all the while. His eyes opened to a blurry picture of his brother.

"Matt, it's okay, we've got you now. You're safe, you're safe with us."

He couldn't tell if the liquid running from his eyes was water or tears. He couldn't tell if the pain still on his back was really there or just ghost pain. He couldn't tell if he was screaming or just sobbing.

"Non, non, fait le arrêter, il va les tuer! Il va nous tuer avec son fusil et son couteau, et il se tuera, juste-"

"Matthew, lad, no one is going to hurt you."

He turned his head, trying to face the person talking, an incoherent stumbling mess, still seeing that horribly pained and burdened face dancing before his eyes, the rifle firing everywhere and the sound of crunching bones still resonating in his ears.

"Blood! He's going to kill them, he's going to kill them, there's going to blood everywhere again, oh dieu, make him stop!"

"Matthieu, calme-toi, il n'est plus là, il ne peut plus te faire du mal."

"Non, papa. Faites-les arrêter. Ils vont se frapper, ils vont tuer des tas de gens, et je pourrais rien faire, et _aaaaahhhhh_!"

He screamed, long and hard, a bloodcurdling scream, as the Halifax explosion happened all over again, as he relived the burning white pain, the flying fragments of everything, and thousands, thousands of his people dying. He saw the huge mushroom cloud blinding his eyes, saw the explosion burst his ears, and it was like the burning of York, except much, much worse, and this time, he had no one to blame but himself, no one to curse but his own carelessness, and god, he wondered if that how his brother felt during nine-eleven.

"Hush, lad. It's alright now. Everything's gonna be okay."

Except everything was not going to be okay, nothing was ever going to be okay anymore, because it hurt, it hurt so fucking much, and the fear took away his rationality, and he couldn't think, couldn't think at all, because that meant going back to those times for real, and he couldn't take it, just couldn't take it.

"It hurts, it hurts…"

"I know it does, lad. Bear with it; just bear with it for a little longer. It'll be over soon."

"I'm scared, I-I…"

"It's okay, Mattie. Go back to sleep. We're here with you."

Finally, just a little before morning, they managed to coax him back to sleep, still thrashing a bit in his sweat-soaked sheets, following him soon after exhaustedly.

It was the 6th of December.

* * *

Translation:

"_Vous n'êtes toutes qu'un tas de f__é__ministes." = __You're all just a bunch of feminists._(Spoken by Lépine)

"_JE HAIS LES F__É__MINISTES!" = __I hate feminists._(Spoken by Lépine)

"Matthieu, c'est moi, réveilles-toi!" = Matthew, it's me, wake up!

"Non, non, fait le arrêter, il va les tuer! Il va nous tuer avec son fusil et son couteau, et il se tuera, juste-" = No, no, make him stop, he's going to kill them! He's going to kill us with his rifle and his knife, and he'll himself, just-

"oh dieu" = oh god

"Matthieu, calme-toi, il n'est plus là, il ne peut plus te faire du mal." = Matthew, calm down (lit: calm yourself), he's not here anymore (lit: he's not there), he can't hurt you anymore.

Notes:

On, the 6th of December, 2 major things happened that I wrote about. First, the Halifax Explosion during WWI, when a Norwegian ship collided with a French cargo ship filled with explosives; 2000 people died, 9000 were injured. Secondly, the École Polytechnique Massacre, where Marc Lépine entered a school, killed 14 women and injured 14 other students. Both events were terrible, with many casualties.

The 6th of December is also the National Day of Remembrance and Action for Violence Against Women.

Funny how things work out. Those two events happened on the same day.


End file.
